Is....Again!!

well..i grown up in a liltle complicated family..im not very pity but i also don think i grow up in a good condition..
is it bcos my fate or watever tht make me feel so..
smt i jus cant stop myself frm thinking tht im useless..althou Des lastim told me alot tht im not so don think nonsense..
frens around me cant stick long de wo..
i neva hv a very close up galfrens tht can meet everyday..chat heart words..
b4 i feel so i will feel diff..i tot i hv their hearts as a bes frens..bt eventually at last..
some things appear make me feel..(actually im not tht important to them too)..
is it bcos of my attidude n personality?
i think ya..
im a gal tht need backup..im not as clever n hardworking as i wanted myself to be..
mayb tht make gals around me feel lazy 2 backuping me again..makes them go far away frm me..
im jus a gal tht need alot of help..infinity de help makes ppl bored of it..haix..
i convinced myself not to trust gal too much d..cos they all are gals n gals change very fast..
bt 4 me frens are important..
Dear..whn u read this..im not saying tht u r not my besties..im talking bout others..
the besties i mean is in diff way..u are a supportive fren..
i think ar..u will be the only n last lo..(haha..talk lk tis lk i gonna die d tim)..

im not tht sad nor happy..it jus i miss the day i n others gals de days..n feel disappoint tht days will neva appear again..i think..

long time d..

Is been long time i didn blog..
ah ya..busy 4 open day all tht..
n bout half of sugarcraft also sick d ar..so scare kene H1N1..
haha..bt all jus normal flu lar..
phew..
Then now busy with training stuff..
suppose moro..friday..i n andy n zi lin have 2 go Marriot Putrajaya thr 4 interview de..
tht hotel not bad lar..
bt as long as i n my boi n my new besties can stick 2gate tht fine 4 me lar..
work must be happy n comfort de ma..
if not how 2 continue..
bt ar..tht stupid fatso assistant ar..dunno y go change our list 2 diff hotel d..
i go Hotel Istana, Andy dunno go whr..same with zi lin too..
is not cos tht hotel not good..
is jus i n my boi n besties will jus separate too far..
n pity zi lin ltr dunno go whr alone..
im the closest 2 her d..(i think gua)
n i choose 2 fail my interview moro..i jus cant leave them alone..
mayb go Spore..i alry asked Agnes 2 find cafe 4 us..sending resume till now lor..
busy busy..since ipoh hv ntg 2 miss..y don jus leave tht sad place..
jus feel damn heart pain whn i think bac..i think whn away will jus be fine..
same 2 kl too..i jus wana go away frm here..4get both very unforgetable humans in my mind..
(i didn mean 2 4et Janice Dear ar..so if u read it don blame me lar)
hope everything will jus fine..

don think bout the past..
jus think bout my future..
hv my own cafe n bakery..sure will be nice..
bt.......damn tire working lor..
i think my life will cont tire till i retired lu..
haha..

2day (thurs)..few of my frens include Alex lar..
go The Loaf at Pavilion 4 interview o..
i think sucess lar cos Tze Foong told me the manager lk thm ar n will consided take 6 of tem 4 trainee..Congrats 2 them!! n gt 300 allowance o..
i also dunno i gt allowance or not..not bad ma..The Loaf is frm Doc Tun Mahathir de ler..
their mini cheese cake damn attractive n cute..haha..
Gambateh all of u!!

me n Andy gonna turns up 1 month d lu..
So Fast!! haha..hope everything will be fine..
moro im following him bac 2 his home town at Nilai, Negeri Sembilan..
scare ler..dunno how his family gonna think bout me lo..
hope is fine..hehe..

Jus hope everything goes fine..
no thinking nonsense..(bt still can miss u guys gua..)
love u guys..muacks!!

signing of..contact lens too dry d lar..blur blur now..

下雨天

Heart words..

Seem like the words i alwis asked is imposibble again..
very damn emo n paining tht feeling exist again..
the feeling is jus lk smt real important hv been snachted by some1..
tht important things needed 2 stick with me and now it hv be owned by other ppl..
jus a passage.. can make me feel down deep into the bottom..
cant cry out..all need 2 trap inside my mind..
hv 2 depends on me 2 think positive again..
or jus buy some alcohol and drunk lk stupid now..
heart is so pain..heart seem lk gonna bust into thousand pieces..

i wana go s'pore..training thr..
i blif my family can take care of themselve..
if i go far away frm here..i can prevent myself frm hoping smt impossible..
stay away frm kl prevent me feel quilty n miss towards Des..
stay away frm ipoh prevent me putting hope onto him..
stay away frm m'sia prevent falling down..
hope can get great cafe training over thr..

thou im in relationship..
bt once andy not around..thinking will fly negative..
wat should i do?
teardrops raining..

bi..can u cm acc me now?
im so scare 2 be alone..
heart very pain ler..