A stupid quest....

If you are single one day...will you give me a second chance?

pas 12..

evry months de 12 2day..
wil be a important day with some1 tht real important to me last time..
i will prepare smt sweet..
or write a letter..show him how much i love him..
bt smt i 4get too..he is the 1 tht remember 1st..
thn all tht stuff will kip in a pink fail..content all our sweet, arguing letters...
some photos..all memories..

if..i said if..
if tht hasnt happen..
now would be our 2 years and 9 months..
almost 3 years lor..
wat along time..

well..is all past tense d lor..
so thr is no more future in this..
i didn mean anything..i just remember the date 2day and sudden feel smt..
sorry 4 being so childish..sorry 4 being so rude..
rite now..i wana rewind to 8 months ago..and now wish u a Happy 2years and 9 months aniversary to "Past Tense Dezzy"..from "Past Tense de Renee"..
don think too much..now let jus go back to reality..and everything move on..

~END~

2day feels....

cold...erm feeling cold..
thou im in a relation..my bf treat me also ok lar..
bt i jus feel he is not the 1 lor..
not oly his attidude irritate me..
also the way he act this position as my bf..
i begin to think..
if God let me choose 2 ways..
1st is return back to form 5..n let everything sweet begin..
2nd is return to form 1..save my mom and stay with family..
wat would i choose..
choose to be with my considerate ex..
or with my very very complicated family..?
i think i wan my family..
i realise family is important..
thou my mom married other..n tht i really don lk tht guy..
bt is okie de..
thn i will alwis be my mom's gal gal..
i won go through again this pain memories..

smt i think till i cant concentrate on work..
smt i even cry out at washroom..
i feel im so tire..
and whn back home i cant feel im home..
cos he is not the 1 i wana c..
do u think i make the wrong decision..?
starting a relation without real feeling..
haix..

smt i think i wana work hard..
prove to every1 tht im a independent women..
i wana have my own shop within a year..
hv car..prove them im diff..
smt i think i wana go for some extra activities..
smt lk swimming, or yoga class, or even dance class..
make myself more more tire..
stop thinking n slp..
thou working is tire..bt i still wish to make myself drunk 4 feel hours..
thou moro will be real tire working..
haix..
renee ar..y u wana think so much jek..

alry past half year lor..i think more then tht..
everything should be fade..
bt smt it come alive again..
is this wat i should go thru?
is this my fate?
whn i can go thru hapi life again?
like those in Ipoh?

i knw ppl also bored at my stories..
frens also said, let go ba..
even myself smt also feel so irritate at myself..
bt wat can i do..
once i place my finger on the keyboard..
tht wat i think lor..
haix..

i really wana contrl my fate..
i wana hv own shop..
and i 1 a Honda city..or Civic..cool..
not enuf thn myvi aso cute de..
i wana dye my hair golden green again..
whn long enuf i wana curly it..
thn hair goes worst, jus cut short short..
lk TB..
bt now all stil dreamimg..
haix..now u really think too much lar..
next month JJ invite me 2his 21st bday party ..
Quattro Autumn Club..
thy say near KLCC wor..
erm..wana go bt who fetch me home ler?
haix..
hope everything will change more soon..
hope it won stay cold..

2day..i..

2day i went gai gai with Janice lor..
v talk alot..
not lk goin out with andy..
he jus will show me a annoy face whn i go shopping..
i alry mark down my shopping list..gonna go Forever21 shop enuf..
hahahahaha....

2day gurly chat alot o..
chat bout my feel..feel so great after talk everything out.
bt nw feel complicated again..
v talk bout TB too..
thinking of finding 1 TB as BF also good wat..
i think thy are much more caring thn guy..
haha...

i can admit i hv mature thinking..
bt do u think i can do it?
if yes..i wouldnt be so complicated nw..
miss goin out clubbing..
beer is the best company..
for me 2 express out a thorn in heart..

sorry renee..i said sorry to u..to make u feel so complicated nw..
if im wise enuf..
u wouldn goin this path..
the other you is so not mature thn u think..

looking 4 the rite path?

To all of u!!

Happy Mooncake fest to my family..
To my PoPo, Ah mei ,Ah Yee and uncle..

Happy Mooncake Fest to my boi..Andy..
smt ar..u realy make u so upset bout u..bt is ok..
i knw tht ya attidude..

Happy Mooncake Fest to my kl frens..especially Janice..
JJ lar..who alwiz bring me clubbing..
and to cute cute Zhe zhe..

Happy Mooncake Fest to all Sugarcraft frens..
Especially to Zi lin, Alvin, Mei Hui, Alex, Liyean..And everyone..

Happy Mooncake Fest to someone i knew deeply lastim..
Desmond n his gal gal Niki..

Happy mooncake Fest to SnJ KC..
especially to Meiling, Karmun and more..
and ex workers Yi Yin..

Happy Mooncake Fest to my Ipoh Schmate..
Especially to hui Yin, Yong Shin, Yee Jing, Ye Sheng and alot alot more..

Happy mooncake fest to Ipoh..
to my Bro, Fei, and all of them tht treat me very good and alwis bring me go here n thr..

Happy Mooncake fest to DOne..
to Chung, Miko, foong, verons.. and all of them..

Happy Mooncake fest to Lavender Staff..
to my 2nd head Chef..I-Zhang, Alan, Juan, Edwin and all of them..

Happy Mooncake fest to world!!!

2day start back work lor..so tire..
actually 2day kinda relax d le lar..we 5pm lk tht alry finish our work..if everyday would be lk this thn sure nice lor..no need to work till so late..

2day is Mooncake festival o..Did u guys hv ya dinner n mooncake with ya family?

i miss my home lor..tis year i cant hv dinner with thm..cos hv to work ma..haix..

bt ar..Lavender give me alot of mooncake ler..i think i will be fat after eating all tht..

bt ar..those i would lk to give to Janice..i buy d ler..don misund ar!! im not giving u free stuff..k?

so jealous at janice can go such good holiday..i got lil bit regret cos didn take college tim..

if not ar..mayb nw v same sch tim lor..haix..thn i also can go such good holiday with u guys..

not lk nw..feel lk stucked half way..

i wana faster faster earn $..hv my own shop n car as soon as possible..thn i won let some ppl look down at me lu..or maybe can meet new ppl..

haha..hope so..cos this year happen alot of stuff..i feel so sad n heart broken alot of time..thou time can help to erase those but is my memories ler..unless i hit a car n realy forget everything..

y i alwiz choose the wrong way? should i blame the God for not guiding me or blame myself for not following the guide? how good if everything is under my control..

tht y..i wana hv my own bussiness..im the boss im the everything..hahahaa..turn bad d lo Rene..