GERAM>>>>>>>>>

im very geram now...
silly me oli bcos of a bunch of long hair i cried..

tht stupiak hair stylish lar..
i neva have confident to let other saloon 2 touch my hair de..
bt i think my hair r real fuzzy now so i decided 2 give a try..
i hv a long long hair..jus a bunch at the back thr..
it till waist thr d lor..
i love it cos it make me proud..
every1 like my hair..
thy ask how can i grow jus 1`bunch of hair?
i alry told tht guy don cut it..
i didn realise it at 1st..bt whn i reach klcc meet my frens..
i look at the mirror..y so short d?
haix..cut d lar..
heart very pain lor..
nexttime go back to my saloon thr..
i hv 2 ask thm 2 cut back short short thn oli can c back my tail thr..
haix..
i love my hair..

I hope im not ya burden..
i hope everything get fine..
is real tire kip on lk tis..

i miss u alot...

special relation..

u sure u wont lk others?
as long some1 continuein caring me n let me trust..
u so sure tuz is not tempporery if i choosen u?
if i think is temp thn i won think so much way 2 get closer with u try 2 make things as i wish..
u sure u will turn les?
yes..im very disapointed at guys..
u sure u will love me for long time?
i oli hoping for long blissful relation..not puppy love..
u sure all tis liking feeling r real?
is the same feeling i felt 3 years ago..tht make me damn hurt losing tht relation..
u sure for future guys is not your choice?
if 1 day love change..anything will happen..tht wil be the time both of us don trust each other nymo..
u really think gals is a beta option?
i think tht b4..b4 the day i met u..

bt love need many support..hv 2 give out many things 2 gain it 4eva..
don u und v dunno wat things gonna happen..
example now u like others gals d..n consider 2 let go her..
i blif u got think all tht quest lk u told me whn u meet her..
now she is ya gal, mean she accept it..
bt c..things happen..is u dumping her now..
if u 1 4eva..
u 1 long term..u should seek 4 it every moment u hv this special relation with her..
not jus asking all this and try 2 buy an insurance frm it..
don think so much bout future..think now..

she und.."u're rite..promise could be break even we made a promise..relationship shud be a develop feelings towards each other..promise cant guarantee anything..promise is not a final ans or a blame for everything if goes wrong..i understand..everything needs to gamble to find out truth, right? ok i got it..........."

im glad she thinks tht is true..
i feeling so great now..
im choose to consider ppl feeling more then mine..
now..im consider how andy feel if everything end..
bt..turn it upside down..i choose her..thou i consider andy's feelings..
bt at last i choose to be selfish..choose my happy path..
tht is bcos i tried 2 love him..bt all end up with disapointment..
haix..i begin to think..maybe tht is not my path..

rite..my frens said i stil young..thr is alot more good person in future..
so..i dunno lar..
rite now i don 1 think tht ending 1st..
i wana go thru some roads 1st..
who knws the ending..
haha..

A character..

Thr is a character told me..
she felt confused..
she dunno wat 2 do..
is not her 1st time falling to someone..
bt this "someone" make her feel "dunno wat 2 do"..
it shouldn be complicated..
bt now it seem yes to her..
she miss him..bt she scare she freak him out..
cos she tot he also in a confused n frustrated situation..
she scare losing him as a fren..bt also scare thr is no space 4 further relationship..
wat should she do?
she really dunno..
he got a very cute gf..feeling so no confident..
she knw she is not tht kinda "big eyes, comic faces gals" tht he like..
go further..wat if it end with hurt answer..
stop here..wat if it end with no chance at all..
haix..
real confused for her too..

tht character is.............................................................not gonna tel u guys..
knw me well then u knw..

Past away Bday...

my bday jus past by bout a week lu..
erm..appreaciate those tht celebrate with me..
lk andy, alvin n mei hui..make me homemade cake..
a liltle surprise party..
lk lavender staff..have a liltle meal at station 1 cafe..
lk zi lin purposely bring me her prez 2 me after work..
n janice..plan 2 go eat at look out point bt cancel d cos i work late tht nite..
all frens r so caring..i shud be glad..
bt dunno y ler..i still feel is not enuf..
cos 2 people..some1 i felt in deep love with..didn wish me..
im not blaming anything..it jus if now i stil have 1 of them..my life wil be too great to live..
i loose alot of confidence at loving another person again lk i love them b4..
mayb is not the real prince..curiously..whn another him will arrive again? n fulfil my blissfulnes?

i mis the time v cycle around my garden..n u r wearing my uncle pants..
i mis the time v play badminton in the evening with ya brother n sister..
i mis all of it..even the time v argue..

i also miss the time u waited me finish work at snj..
i also miss the time u fetch me with motor..n 1 time u purposely cycle bac to ya hse frm mine to yours jus 4 a "journey to the west" cd n watch at my home..
i also miss your expression whn i acc u 2 tattoo..remembering u oli 1 mentos..so i choose all mentos frm the sweet box..

thru all tis..i gain tons of sweetness and happiness..
i gain all the laughter n experiance..
i gain lot of confidence on depending on myself whn im alone..
i now dare to do things tht i don dare 2 do..oli dare to depend on thm..

bt things to gain all this have to loose away a importance things..
losing the feeling of loving some1 so deeply..
mayb i hvn met..tht y i will write so..
i tot this is wat blog shud be..to tel wat i feel now..
life reali no take 2..1 steps wrong n tht is the end..no matter is happy ending or sad ending..
unfortune, i end with a very hurt ending..

for sometwo i loved b4..
1..i loved 4 2 years..1..iloved for 1 months..
i wish i could tell u guys 1 day tht i really have fully let go u guys..
i think tht time i will be in a very blissful relation lk lastim with u guys..
i wonder who r u? so powerful to delete thm frm me..

guess wat..im waitin u..

so tire 2day..i work more thn 13 hours 2day..stand whole day..n i eat oli 1 mini miny bread..
haix..y earning money are so hard..
sumore 2day oli few ppl work oli o..so damn tire ler..
if i oli sit there and got ppl give salary so good ho..haha..
i knw every1 wish so..
hehehe...

chef Lim said he gonna bring some of his student to taiwan for a short course ler..
haha..i sure goin de lar..bt i think i hv to resigned my job thn oly can follow..
thou now im doin well in this bakery..bt i wana improve more ler..
go see see other country..luckily my pasport jus renew..
if can i really wish to get work permit thr..Taiwan ler..their bread so geng..sure got alot to learn de lor..
lastim i planned 2 hv my own bussiness as soon as possible..
bt now i think i wana try diff path..i agree with my fren's point, zhi lin..
she planned to work thn earn $ thn go other country and work thr for beta knowledge..
sumore her bro go alots of places too..i think i wana follow her lar..haha..
i also planned to enter Le Meridian after i quit Lavender..
i see pic frm zhi lin..seem alot to learn thr too..haha...
wish my journey start soon..and won jus cancel.
cos ar..smtime i plan and dream alot thn the things won come true..
so i really hard to blif the phrase of "dream come true"..
Janice say de ngam o..don think so much smt great things happen beyond our thinkin..haha..

wish me luck!

Im useless..

something have bothering me this few days..
i keep remembering something the most sweet moment in my life..
bt i knw is past d..
i miss tht very much..i got think to get him back again..
bt..is more relax n happy to see him happy too..let he do wat he lk..
is beta oli me suffer..cos all tis bad things happening on me is actually all my fault..
cant blame anyone..jus im useless..
jus nw waiting lrt..i promise to myself..i will live properly and neva cried anymore for the past..
n try to put as much love as i could to this relation..
bt everything ruin..my bf nw r treating me so badly..
u can say bcos im too manja or watever..
bt i can feel he is not the rite guy..feel breaking up..
bt i scare i made the wrong decision again..i don even care to take frens advise..
no one und me..no one...
im very moody nw..am i not suppose to be in tis world?
i knw im useless..i ruin everything good..
is all my fault..