wil this be real..i mean..no 1 playing no 1 rite??
mind gonna blown up soon..
haix..very fan ar!!!!!!!!!!!!

itz time to give up?
will he be happy with her?
im so fan ar..
thy r such a lovely couple..
im nothing..

To..........

i und..u still lub her de..
cos she also been a very important person 4 u for some time..
she is some1 u be with for some period..
is good to be not cruel...considering ppl feel..
is a good point..u r kind hearted..

no matter wat..the black clouds will end too..
no matter the answer is good or bad..
wat i nid is time to flow..
like now..im letting the fate to flow with time..
altou i really wish for smt..
bt i also hv my own probs here..
i might jus hv the same feeling as u feel..
bt..i can think..
n i think rite now..
not lk u..think nonsense..
rite now..the sun is to see u happy happy whn u chat or meet me..

i found my sun..for now..
u found it d le ma??

GERAM>>>>>>>>>

im very geram now...
silly me oli bcos of a bunch of long hair i cried..

tht stupiak hair stylish lar..
i neva have confident to let other saloon 2 touch my hair de..
bt i think my hair r real fuzzy now so i decided 2 give a try..
i hv a long long hair..jus a bunch at the back thr..
it till waist thr d lor..
i love it cos it make me proud..
every1 like my hair..
thy ask how can i grow jus 1`bunch of hair?
i alry told tht guy don cut it..
i didn realise it at 1st..bt whn i reach klcc meet my frens..
i look at the mirror..y so short d?
haix..cut d lar..
heart very pain lor..
nexttime go back to my saloon thr..
i hv 2 ask thm 2 cut back short short thn oli can c back my tail thr..
haix..
i love my hair..

I hope im not ya burden..
i hope everything get fine..
is real tire kip on lk tis..

i miss u alot...

special relation..

u sure u wont lk others?
as long some1 continuein caring me n let me trust..
u so sure tuz is not tempporery if i choosen u?
if i think is temp thn i won think so much way 2 get closer with u try 2 make things as i wish..
u sure u will turn les?
yes..im very disapointed at guys..
u sure u will love me for long time?
i oli hoping for long blissful relation..not puppy love..
u sure all tis liking feeling r real?
is the same feeling i felt 3 years ago..tht make me damn hurt losing tht relation..
u sure for future guys is not your choice?
if 1 day love change..anything will happen..tht wil be the time both of us don trust each other nymo..
u really think gals is a beta option?
i think tht b4..b4 the day i met u..

bt love need many support..hv 2 give out many things 2 gain it 4eva..
don u und v dunno wat things gonna happen..
example now u like others gals d..n consider 2 let go her..
i blif u got think all tht quest lk u told me whn u meet her..
now she is ya gal, mean she accept it..
bt c..things happen..is u dumping her now..
if u 1 4eva..
u 1 long term..u should seek 4 it every moment u hv this special relation with her..
not jus asking all this and try 2 buy an insurance frm it..
don think so much bout future..think now..

she und.."u're rite..promise could be break even we made a promise..relationship shud be a develop feelings towards each other..promise cant guarantee anything..promise is not a final ans or a blame for everything if goes wrong..i understand..everything needs to gamble to find out truth, right? ok i got it..........."

im glad she thinks tht is true..
i feeling so great now..
im choose to consider ppl feeling more then mine..
now..im consider how andy feel if everything end..
bt..turn it upside down..i choose her..thou i consider andy's feelings..
bt at last i choose to be selfish..choose my happy path..
tht is bcos i tried 2 love him..bt all end up with disapointment..
haix..i begin to think..maybe tht is not my path..

rite..my frens said i stil young..thr is alot more good person in future..
so..i dunno lar..
rite now i don 1 think tht ending 1st..
i wana go thru some roads 1st..
who knws the ending..
haha..

A character..

Thr is a character told me..
she felt confused..
she dunno wat 2 do..
is not her 1st time falling to someone..
bt this "someone" make her feel "dunno wat 2 do"..
it shouldn be complicated..
bt now it seem yes to her..
she miss him..bt she scare she freak him out..
cos she tot he also in a confused n frustrated situation..
she scare losing him as a fren..bt also scare thr is no space 4 further relationship..
wat should she do?
she really dunno..
he got a very cute gf..feeling so no confident..
she knw she is not tht kinda "big eyes, comic faces gals" tht he like..
go further..wat if it end with hurt answer..
stop here..wat if it end with no chance at all..
haix..
real confused for her too..

tht character is.............................................................not gonna tel u guys..
knw me well then u knw..

Past away Bday...

my bday jus past by bout a week lu..
erm..appreaciate those tht celebrate with me..
lk andy, alvin n mei hui..make me homemade cake..
a liltle surprise party..
lk lavender staff..have a liltle meal at station 1 cafe..
lk zi lin purposely bring me her prez 2 me after work..
n janice..plan 2 go eat at look out point bt cancel d cos i work late tht nite..
all frens r so caring..i shud be glad..
bt dunno y ler..i still feel is not enuf..
cos 2 people..some1 i felt in deep love with..didn wish me..
im not blaming anything..it jus if now i stil have 1 of them..my life wil be too great to live..
i loose alot of confidence at loving another person again lk i love them b4..
mayb is not the real prince..curiously..whn another him will arrive again? n fulfil my blissfulnes?

i mis the time v cycle around my garden..n u r wearing my uncle pants..
i mis the time v play badminton in the evening with ya brother n sister..
i mis all of it..even the time v argue..

i also miss the time u waited me finish work at snj..
i also miss the time u fetch me with motor..n 1 time u purposely cycle bac to ya hse frm mine to yours jus 4 a "journey to the west" cd n watch at my home..
i also miss your expression whn i acc u 2 tattoo..remembering u oli 1 mentos..so i choose all mentos frm the sweet box..

thru all tis..i gain tons of sweetness and happiness..
i gain all the laughter n experiance..
i gain lot of confidence on depending on myself whn im alone..
i now dare to do things tht i don dare 2 do..oli dare to depend on thm..

bt things to gain all this have to loose away a importance things..
losing the feeling of loving some1 so deeply..
mayb i hvn met..tht y i will write so..
i tot this is wat blog shud be..to tel wat i feel now..
life reali no take 2..1 steps wrong n tht is the end..no matter is happy ending or sad ending..
unfortune, i end with a very hurt ending..

for sometwo i loved b4..
1..i loved 4 2 years..1..iloved for 1 months..
i wish i could tell u guys 1 day tht i really have fully let go u guys..
i think tht time i will be in a very blissful relation lk lastim with u guys..
i wonder who r u? so powerful to delete thm frm me..

guess wat..im waitin u..

so tire 2day..i work more thn 13 hours 2day..stand whole day..n i eat oli 1 mini miny bread..
haix..y earning money are so hard..
sumore 2day oli few ppl work oli o..so damn tire ler..
if i oli sit there and got ppl give salary so good ho..haha..
i knw every1 wish so..
hehehe...

chef Lim said he gonna bring some of his student to taiwan for a short course ler..
haha..i sure goin de lar..bt i think i hv to resigned my job thn oly can follow..
thou now im doin well in this bakery..bt i wana improve more ler..
go see see other country..luckily my pasport jus renew..
if can i really wish to get work permit thr..Taiwan ler..their bread so geng..sure got alot to learn de lor..
lastim i planned 2 hv my own bussiness as soon as possible..
bt now i think i wana try diff path..i agree with my fren's point, zhi lin..
she planned to work thn earn $ thn go other country and work thr for beta knowledge..
sumore her bro go alots of places too..i think i wana follow her lar..haha..
i also planned to enter Le Meridian after i quit Lavender..
i see pic frm zhi lin..seem alot to learn thr too..haha...
wish my journey start soon..and won jus cancel.
cos ar..smtime i plan and dream alot thn the things won come true..
so i really hard to blif the phrase of "dream come true"..
Janice say de ngam o..don think so much smt great things happen beyond our thinkin..haha..

wish me luck!

Im useless..

something have bothering me this few days..
i keep remembering something the most sweet moment in my life..
bt i knw is past d..
i miss tht very much..i got think to get him back again..
bt..is more relax n happy to see him happy too..let he do wat he lk..
is beta oli me suffer..cos all tis bad things happening on me is actually all my fault..
cant blame anyone..jus im useless..
jus nw waiting lrt..i promise to myself..i will live properly and neva cried anymore for the past..
n try to put as much love as i could to this relation..
bt everything ruin..my bf nw r treating me so badly..
u can say bcos im too manja or watever..
bt i can feel he is not the rite guy..feel breaking up..
bt i scare i made the wrong decision again..i don even care to take frens advise..
no one und me..no one...
im very moody nw..am i not suppose to be in tis world?
i knw im useless..i ruin everything good..
is all my fault..

A stupid quest....

If you are single one day...will you give me a second chance?

pas 12..

evry months de 12 2day..
wil be a important day with some1 tht real important to me last time..
i will prepare smt sweet..
or write a letter..show him how much i love him..
bt smt i 4get too..he is the 1 tht remember 1st..
thn all tht stuff will kip in a pink fail..content all our sweet, arguing letters...
some photos..all memories..

if..i said if..
if tht hasnt happen..
now would be our 2 years and 9 months..
almost 3 years lor..
wat along time..

well..is all past tense d lor..
so thr is no more future in this..
i didn mean anything..i just remember the date 2day and sudden feel smt..
sorry 4 being so childish..sorry 4 being so rude..
rite now..i wana rewind to 8 months ago..and now wish u a Happy 2years and 9 months aniversary to "Past Tense Dezzy"..from "Past Tense de Renee"..
don think too much..now let jus go back to reality..and everything move on..

~END~

2day feels....

cold...erm feeling cold..
thou im in a relation..my bf treat me also ok lar..
bt i jus feel he is not the 1 lor..
not oly his attidude irritate me..
also the way he act this position as my bf..
i begin to think..
if God let me choose 2 ways..
1st is return back to form 5..n let everything sweet begin..
2nd is return to form 1..save my mom and stay with family..
wat would i choose..
choose to be with my considerate ex..
or with my very very complicated family..?
i think i wan my family..
i realise family is important..
thou my mom married other..n tht i really don lk tht guy..
bt is okie de..
thn i will alwis be my mom's gal gal..
i won go through again this pain memories..

smt i think till i cant concentrate on work..
smt i even cry out at washroom..
i feel im so tire..
and whn back home i cant feel im home..
cos he is not the 1 i wana c..
do u think i make the wrong decision..?
starting a relation without real feeling..
haix..

smt i think i wana work hard..
prove to every1 tht im a independent women..
i wana have my own shop within a year..
hv car..prove them im diff..
smt i think i wana go for some extra activities..
smt lk swimming, or yoga class, or even dance class..
make myself more more tire..
stop thinking n slp..
thou working is tire..bt i still wish to make myself drunk 4 feel hours..
thou moro will be real tire working..
haix..
renee ar..y u wana think so much jek..

alry past half year lor..i think more then tht..
everything should be fade..
bt smt it come alive again..
is this wat i should go thru?
is this my fate?
whn i can go thru hapi life again?
like those in Ipoh?

i knw ppl also bored at my stories..
frens also said, let go ba..
even myself smt also feel so irritate at myself..
bt wat can i do..
once i place my finger on the keyboard..
tht wat i think lor..
haix..

i really wana contrl my fate..
i wana hv own shop..
and i 1 a Honda city..or Civic..cool..
not enuf thn myvi aso cute de..
i wana dye my hair golden green again..
whn long enuf i wana curly it..
thn hair goes worst, jus cut short short..
lk TB..
bt now all stil dreamimg..
haix..now u really think too much lar..
next month JJ invite me 2his 21st bday party ..
Quattro Autumn Club..
thy say near KLCC wor..
erm..wana go bt who fetch me home ler?
haix..
hope everything will change more soon..
hope it won stay cold..

2day..i..

2day i went gai gai with Janice lor..
v talk alot..
not lk goin out with andy..
he jus will show me a annoy face whn i go shopping..
i alry mark down my shopping list..gonna go Forever21 shop enuf..
hahahahaha....

2day gurly chat alot o..
chat bout my feel..feel so great after talk everything out.
bt nw feel complicated again..
v talk bout TB too..
thinking of finding 1 TB as BF also good wat..
i think thy are much more caring thn guy..
haha...

i can admit i hv mature thinking..
bt do u think i can do it?
if yes..i wouldnt be so complicated nw..
miss goin out clubbing..
beer is the best company..
for me 2 express out a thorn in heart..

sorry renee..i said sorry to u..to make u feel so complicated nw..
if im wise enuf..
u wouldn goin this path..
the other you is so not mature thn u think..

looking 4 the rite path?

To all of u!!

Happy Mooncake fest to my family..
To my PoPo, Ah mei ,Ah Yee and uncle..

Happy Mooncake Fest to my boi..Andy..
smt ar..u realy make u so upset bout u..bt is ok..
i knw tht ya attidude..

Happy Mooncake Fest to my kl frens..especially Janice..
JJ lar..who alwiz bring me clubbing..
and to cute cute Zhe zhe..

Happy Mooncake Fest to all Sugarcraft frens..
Especially to Zi lin, Alvin, Mei Hui, Alex, Liyean..And everyone..

Happy Mooncake Fest to someone i knew deeply lastim..
Desmond n his gal gal Niki..

Happy mooncake Fest to SnJ KC..
especially to Meiling, Karmun and more..
and ex workers Yi Yin..

Happy Mooncake Fest to my Ipoh Schmate..
Especially to hui Yin, Yong Shin, Yee Jing, Ye Sheng and alot alot more..

Happy mooncake fest to Ipoh..
to my Bro, Fei, and all of them tht treat me very good and alwis bring me go here n thr..

Happy Mooncake fest to DOne..
to Chung, Miko, foong, verons.. and all of them..

Happy Mooncake fest to Lavender Staff..
to my 2nd head Chef..I-Zhang, Alan, Juan, Edwin and all of them..

Happy Mooncake fest to world!!!

2day start back work lor..so tire..
actually 2day kinda relax d le lar..we 5pm lk tht alry finish our work..if everyday would be lk this thn sure nice lor..no need to work till so late..

2day is Mooncake festival o..Did u guys hv ya dinner n mooncake with ya family?

i miss my home lor..tis year i cant hv dinner with thm..cos hv to work ma..haix..

bt ar..Lavender give me alot of mooncake ler..i think i will be fat after eating all tht..

bt ar..those i would lk to give to Janice..i buy d ler..don misund ar!! im not giving u free stuff..k?

so jealous at janice can go such good holiday..i got lil bit regret cos didn take college tim..

if not ar..mayb nw v same sch tim lor..haix..thn i also can go such good holiday with u guys..

not lk nw..feel lk stucked half way..

i wana faster faster earn $..hv my own shop n car as soon as possible..thn i won let some ppl look down at me lu..or maybe can meet new ppl..

haha..hope so..cos this year happen alot of stuff..i feel so sad n heart broken alot of time..thou time can help to erase those but is my memories ler..unless i hit a car n realy forget everything..

y i alwiz choose the wrong way? should i blame the God for not guiding me or blame myself for not following the guide? how good if everything is under my control..

tht y..i wana hv my own bussiness..im the boss im the everything..hahahaa..turn bad d lo Rene..

is our memo..

i dunno wat am i sad about..since now i alry move in 2 a new path..hv a new guy..
not actually sad lar..Alan said..is bcos u keep thinking your memories..u r jus miss wat had happen lastim and it won happen again..u think too?
Alan also said..old de din go new de how 2 come o..i heard many of these d..
bt smt..i rather i keep the old de and push away de new de..
if i make a wise decision lastim thn now i won be so trouble..

i asked Alex 2 acc me..bt i don think so i can meet him and her ..
with the attidude i hv now..is a shame..
im a smoker which he hate..
is alrite is ok..at least i turn more independent..
i can live without men..thou i really need 1..bt still i can do it de..

is so tire working..i gonna go to the cake section..decorating all tht..not hard lar..
jus don hv 2 make bread lk now oly...cos ah juan been working 2 years and she stuck over thr..
is time for her to move out to the bakery side d lor..
bt i scare thy will feel regret lor..cos im not staying long..
thou thr is alot to study..bt keep working non stop is hard ler..
unless is my own shop lor..jus hope everything get well lor..

u can thelp!!!!!!!!

To be honestly..i really don 1 2 think bout u d..
human are so stupid..whn 2geta thy dunno how 2 appreciate..whn breakup oly knw how to think bout all the good stuff he treat u b4..im one of thm lor..
24 sept morning..whn i work..i think bout u so much..think bout how dare i say break with u..
think bout how late im 2 keep this relation..cos tht time u told me u r moving on..u hv a crush on other gal d.. my chef tot is bcos he scolded me thn i cried..but it isint..
tht y i say u cant help..it jus better don meet how sweet u both is..i think tht will slowly disappear..
for some moment i hope v can start over again..but now is diff..
thou i want it..but thr is other person related in tis..so i knw i jus dreaming..
i knw wat i write also useless...jus lk the story u wrote for me whn u break..
but i will remember Issac and Roxanne..
so..i tink if u won so free on9 de lar..thn i will inform u 2 9..v don meet d lar..
u wana say im closed minded or watever..i jus don 1 make myself sad..
cos wat i want i cant get it..y don jus try 2 4get and move on..

tire ler...

i start working d lor..1 week d..
moro off day oh..finally..
i work at pavillion kl..Lavender Bakery lo..
emm..alot of thing to do lar..haix..
so tire..leg so pain o..and tht safety boots also kinda heavy..haix..
smt i wish i don hv 2 work..jus stay at home..i blif all ppl like it..
hahaha..bt human hv 2 find $ de ma..and also 2 fulfill my study..
intership training for 3 month 2 get my diploma..faster end lar..haiyo..

morning hv 2 wake my bui up..thn iron my chef uni n apron..tie my hair lk ah po like tht..a big bun behind.. thn bui fetch me to Abdul Razak Lrt lor..now i rent room at cheras ma..thn reach station hang tuah and change monorail to bukit bintang..walk some steps lor..haix..
as a gal..of cos i don hv tht energy 2 do wat man do..tht y whn i beat the cream puff paste with hand whisk..i beat till sweating lor..lolx..
thn make many many diff bun and wash many many heavy tray..
my 2nd head chef called me Mei Mei..cos im the youngest among thm ma..thy actually treat my kinda good lor..thy knw i beh tahan the tire smt let me go bac early tim..n thy din scold me too (dunno in future lar..lolx) bt my technique kinda weak so must gambateh..

i think i will oly help thm till new year oly..cos ar..i really wana rest lor..
n i planned d..wana hv my own cafe at ipoh lor..c lar..whn i can success..haha..if own business i think ok de..cos it will be my shop ma..haha..

haix..me n my bf ar..these days got alot of arguing o..he lor..
suppose work at hotel de..as part time only he also can be late to work 1..thn chef sure scold de lar..
one word say..beh tahan! thn don 1 work d wo..haha..
i knw his mom very sayang him..give him wat he 1 but really hv 2 independent de ma..if not how can wo..i alry give him alot of advice bt he jus ignore..
he summore ar..don 1 fetch me 2 lrt d wo..ask me walk 2 take taxi every morning cos he 1 2 slp wo! geram..u knw ornot..yest here oly got gal walk alone kena rampas beg ar..haix..
wat kinda bf is him! i got find alex 2 talk..i told him..if keep on lk this i think won last long..
if he still won change..i also tire d lor..
haix..so many love probs happen this year..all sad sad de..heart also break down d lor..sob sob..
how good if everything happen again frm the beginning so tht i can choose the rite path..
bt...impossible lar..haix..

is been long time i din blog lor..cos busy working ma..come back my bf keep using my laptop wo..
till 2day he slp d..i oly got chance 2 on9..
sudden wish 2 go clubbing with janice..go drink and move lk hell..lk sapo..haha..thn go see boys..
haha..hug my gf..hehe..tht so warm..

to every1..im logging off..sob sob..tire ar..

Is....Again!!

well..i grown up in a liltle complicated family..im not very pity but i also don think i grow up in a good condition..
is it bcos my fate or watever tht make me feel so..
smt i jus cant stop myself frm thinking tht im useless..althou Des lastim told me alot tht im not so don think nonsense..
frens around me cant stick long de wo..
i neva hv a very close up galfrens tht can meet everyday..chat heart words..
b4 i feel so i will feel diff..i tot i hv their hearts as a bes frens..bt eventually at last..
some things appear make me feel..(actually im not tht important to them too)..
is it bcos of my attidude n personality?
i think ya..
im a gal tht need backup..im not as clever n hardworking as i wanted myself to be..
mayb tht make gals around me feel lazy 2 backuping me again..makes them go far away frm me..
im jus a gal tht need alot of help..infinity de help makes ppl bored of it..haix..
i convinced myself not to trust gal too much d..cos they all are gals n gals change very fast..
bt 4 me frens are important..
Dear..whn u read this..im not saying tht u r not my besties..im talking bout others..
the besties i mean is in diff way..u are a supportive fren..
i think ar..u will be the only n last lo..(haha..talk lk tis lk i gonna die d tim)..

im not tht sad nor happy..it jus i miss the day i n others gals de days..n feel disappoint tht days will neva appear again..i think..

long time d..

Is been long time i didn blog..
ah ya..busy 4 open day all tht..
n bout half of sugarcraft also sick d ar..so scare kene H1N1..
haha..bt all jus normal flu lar..
phew..
Then now busy with training stuff..
suppose moro..friday..i n andy n zi lin have 2 go Marriot Putrajaya thr 4 interview de..
tht hotel not bad lar..
bt as long as i n my boi n my new besties can stick 2gate tht fine 4 me lar..
work must be happy n comfort de ma..
if not how 2 continue..
bt ar..tht stupid fatso assistant ar..dunno y go change our list 2 diff hotel d..
i go Hotel Istana, Andy dunno go whr..same with zi lin too..
is not cos tht hotel not good..
is jus i n my boi n besties will jus separate too far..
n pity zi lin ltr dunno go whr alone..
im the closest 2 her d..(i think gua)
n i choose 2 fail my interview moro..i jus cant leave them alone..
mayb go Spore..i alry asked Agnes 2 find cafe 4 us..sending resume till now lor..
busy busy..since ipoh hv ntg 2 miss..y don jus leave tht sad place..
jus feel damn heart pain whn i think bac..i think whn away will jus be fine..
same 2 kl too..i jus wana go away frm here..4get both very unforgetable humans in my mind..
(i didn mean 2 4et Janice Dear ar..so if u read it don blame me lar)
hope everything will jus fine..

don think bout the past..
jus think bout my future..
hv my own cafe n bakery..sure will be nice..
bt.......damn tire working lor..
i think my life will cont tire till i retired lu..
haha..

2day (thurs)..few of my frens include Alex lar..
go The Loaf at Pavilion 4 interview o..
i think sucess lar cos Tze Foong told me the manager lk thm ar n will consided take 6 of tem 4 trainee..Congrats 2 them!! n gt 300 allowance o..
i also dunno i gt allowance or not..not bad ma..The Loaf is frm Doc Tun Mahathir de ler..
their mini cheese cake damn attractive n cute..haha..
Gambateh all of u!!

me n Andy gonna turns up 1 month d lu..
So Fast!! haha..hope everything will be fine..
moro im following him bac 2 his home town at Nilai, Negeri Sembilan..
scare ler..dunno how his family gonna think bout me lo..
hope is fine..hehe..

Jus hope everything goes fine..
no thinking nonsense..(bt still can miss u guys gua..)
love u guys..muacks!!

signing of..contact lens too dry d lar..blur blur now..

下雨天

Heart words..

Seem like the words i alwis asked is imposibble again..
very damn emo n paining tht feeling exist again..
the feeling is jus lk smt real important hv been snachted by some1..
tht important things needed 2 stick with me and now it hv be owned by other ppl..
jus a passage.. can make me feel down deep into the bottom..
cant cry out..all need 2 trap inside my mind..
hv 2 depends on me 2 think positive again..
or jus buy some alcohol and drunk lk stupid now..
heart is so pain..heart seem lk gonna bust into thousand pieces..

i wana go s'pore..training thr..
i blif my family can take care of themselve..
if i go far away frm here..i can prevent myself frm hoping smt impossible..
stay away frm kl prevent me feel quilty n miss towards Des..
stay away frm ipoh prevent me putting hope onto him..
stay away frm m'sia prevent falling down..
hope can get great cafe training over thr..

thou im in relationship..
bt once andy not around..thinking will fly negative..
wat should i do?
teardrops raining..

bi..can u cm acc me now?
im so scare 2 be alone..
heart very pain ler..

READ TIZ!!

Tis is hilarious y chinese shouldn have Christian names...

Anne Chang
(chinese) - Dirty

Anne Chin
(Chinese) - Silent

Carl Cheng
(Hokkien) - Buttock

Monica Cheng
(Hokkien) -touch your buttock

Jane Tan
(Chinese) - Frying egg

Paul Chan
(chinese) - bankrup

Nelson Tan
(chinese) - bird laying eggs

Leslie Tong
(chinese) - ribbish bin

Rosie Teng
(Hokkien) - screws and nails

Pete Tsai
(Hokkien) - nose dropping

is a very funny msg send by a very good fren of mine..
thx Susan 4 the laughter..

下雨天

every1 sick..

2day..at hostel..i got cough and flu o..
bt mine jus lil lar..
then every1 started 2 cough d..

most badly is.. Andy get real sick..
high fever..flu.. cough..
then ah Yau too..
haix..buy them med..then the coolfever patch..
but 100plus.. and coconuts drinks..
no mood eat pula..
go buy porridge..
haix..

y every1 sick..
big exam coming..
must recover soon o..
Gambateh!!

下雨天

Very damn tire!!

Last weekend was my sch..Sugarcraft Academy open day..
at JB..new branch..
each group..i, zi ling n alvin..3 of us hv 2 make 8 type of products!!
each 200 and all 2gate is 1600..haix..in 3 days hv 2 finish make, bake, n decorating..
bt v manage 2 do tht..

and most creepy things is..the hotel v slp thr 4 3 nites..
got smt o..my frens said..the tv will on of itself..
Ginny said, those "things" asked her not 2 of light and play with them..
tsk tsk..cant imagine..bt dunno thy telling true ornot lar..
bt i blif..as long as v human don disturb them thn thy all won de lar..

our products..1st is my favorite.. crystals mango slices.. sponge base..thn mango pudding and fruit agar agar..is a very delightful dessert..thn walnut choco cake..tht 1 so nice 2 it will topping of choco ganache..nice nice..
got somemo, lolipop cookies lar..tht 1 ar.all kids 1 ler..is the most successful product..
got raisin butter bun.. seaweed chicken floss roll.. raspberry cookies.. choco apple tart.. and lastly is the sandwich box..sandwich in a bread box..
is a successfull event..and don think is easy..is actually 2 past our sugarcraft certificate..and since Liz said our event success mean i past d lor..
haha..

bt bad dreams don jus end..this weekend..v got another open day at Sugarcraft Academy too..
KL branch ant Sri petaling near the Hotel Sri petaling..
tis 1 hard lor..is 2 past our C&G Diploma..if i fail..i study 4 this 3 months will all be wasted..
hopefully not lor..
have 2 make 9 products..each 200 too and total is 1800!!
tis time my group gonna make Opera roll..very delicious cake..
then pandan coconut roll..erm.. B&W cookies... Strawberry Marble Japanese Cheese Cake..
Cream puff.. Walnuts puff.. Chrysanthemum Agar agar.. Ikan Bilis puff bun and lastly Mini Pretzel..
all nice food..
bt too bad this time Liz wanted our visitor to pay..
15$ per pax..food frm culinary students and free baking food frm baking students..
bt most of my frens said..no 1 will pay de lar..
pls make it success..if not i can get beta feedback form..then i cant past my diploma d lor..
haix..

real hard days..
faster end lar..thn go home slp lu..
hahaha..

下雨天

message for u..

hey..is great to heard tht u slim down ar..
haha..no more big tummy make body more fit..
bt ya body also very fit d so no need 2 keep so much le ler..
haha..me pula fat somemore o..bt gonna go through 2 weeks de slimming process..haha..
wish me luck..hope can get fit soon..
and ar..ya dance alwis the best lar..don look down at yaself..
k? gambateh..alwis support u o..
very fast jek..goin 2reach 5th sept de lar..haha..
and ar..tht time i will be at ipoh too..so find me yum cha o..

couple stuff ler..erm..okok lo..
bt still need some advising at myself..
u knw my hope de lar..bt..im beta now..at least i still can control..
blek!! haha.. ^^

hope whn u come bac u could see tis message..
i long time didn chat with u ler..
dunno how u thr..hope everything fine..
me...alwis Gambateh 4 u..
frm beginning.. (mayb stop half way lar) till now..
haha..
live tirely here too..tht y everyday sch everyday slp..
life beta now..good ho..

miss u much o..
加油!!!

下雨天

sillyme..

Don think d lar..

gambateh renee!!

blek!!

new days with some1..

erm..dunno how important he will be 2 me..
i jus met tis guy 4 2months++ and real contacting each other jus 4 bout 1 week++..
will tis time will be the same feeling as i treat chung n des lastim..
bt i did feel happy be with him..

the way he treat me..not bad..
bt very sweet whn sms..
he is 21..n v both gt the same interest..baking..
n additional is..he study culinary too..
imagine 1 day if our relation r close..
v might hv our own shop were he is the chef n im incharge of baking..
haha..(dreaming lar renee)
not bad lar him..thou he is not lk chung( 4 some times i wish 2 find some1 real lk chung)
bt i think if tis guy treat me good..i will keep loving him lar..
lets see whether he is a prince or a visitor..

hope..it won end up too sad..n make me drop to the bottom floor of my feel..
hope..he really real 2 me..don jus play around..
i knw im not good in choosing ppl..hope God let me recover..

rite nw..i love him much..
muax Bi!!!

下雨天

yesterday..

Yesterday..i went 2 a club.. Santuary, The Curve at Petaling Jaya..
it was Janice bday..i knw her since 16..n now v r very best fren..

suppose her bday is on 15 july..bt u knw..nobody clubbin on weekdays..
so is Saturday nite!!

the day b4 yesterday, Jun's car kena accident lo..
luckily nose didn bleed o..cos i hit my nose n my hand scratch a lil bit..red red d o..
thn kena tow away d..his parent don let him drive d lo.. so now he is staying at puchong hostel..
thn i n sheng suppose 2 go back sri petaling wait 4 my bro,Jef 2 fetch us..
bt no car ler..so v go thr bt taxi lo..hv 2 take cake somemo..(my homemade chocolate cake jus 4 my Dear Janice)
30 bucks ler..damn expensive..
thn v reach thr..eat lil bit thn Jef come d..
go his hse..bath bath..hair straighten..dress nicely..make up..Done!! go........

reach thr..Janice come..his brothers..frens..cousin..
hv fun..
Hennessy, beer n even green tea!! haha..
i campur everything tht y i gt drunk easily..haix..
sit thr 4 bout 1 hour ++ only feel a bit of standing up..
also too tire 2 move ya body n have fun lo..
bt stil is fun hugging frens around..knw some new frens..not bad..
bt tht place is HOT!! sweat...
everybody lk coming out from sauna...
bt i will miss yest lar..somemo many ppl praise me.."my cake very nice"..
happy happy..haha..

smoke all around..drink around..bt no leng zai let me flirt around..too bad..
wakakakaka..jus kidding..

funny part is.. sheng drunk d o..ask me bring him go toilet bt ar..b4 reach thr he alry vomit o..
yuck!! thn slp at outside i think 4 bout 1 hour d lo..
thn he come in..he say he feel ntg d lo..no drunk d wo..
bt Jef drunk o..ask sheng 2 drive..damn funny..
u knw Sheng frm JB..he dunno Kl road..drive wrong..Uturn..Jef keep yelling..
"my car!!......P ler bro.......U turn Uturn......... break ler!!(bt is far away frm the traffic ler)...."
haha...laughing all the wy bac..
thn reach home bout 4 smt terus pergi tidur lo...
slp lk pig o..damn cold pula...haha...lk hotel o..

too bad all pic at Jef hp rite now..n Janice's cousin too...tht y now cannot upload any photo..
haix..i will edit tis post whn i got those photo..
tht all lar..great nite yest..
too bad Andy, Zi Ling, JJ, Chester didn follow..
if not more fun lo..
haha..hope got more tis kinda days in future..miss Clubbing!!
love u Janice..HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
wish u all the bes..muaxies!!

下雨天

爱..在那? 爱..是什么?

what is love?
is it really forever..?
or is a very complicated feeling tht can make human do anything jus 4 him/her 2 feel comfort and happy...

money..handsome faces..cool..cars..frens..
most of the ppl will say.."erm..is not really matter..jus love me enuf"
in my opinion..is a lie..
don tel me guys don look at pretty gals n gals don stare at cute guys..
bt..u knw..no 1 is perfect..
is tht kinda guys really exist in this world?
n is call love or jus a proud feeling 2 have one of those guys beside u?
complicated..

i blif..love is no forever..
the feeling will jus disappear one day thou u r married..
only left is the heart of responsibility 2 take care ya partner..
n a things tht u do alwis n feel real not use to it once u stop doin it..

sometimes..i heard..
"i trust my bf..i give him freedom so tht he won feel tht im annoying.."
well..1stly is trust..bt later on tht feel will turn 2 "not care"
"i don care la.."
tht make a gal slowly slowly lost the feeling on guys..
wat make they still joining..is the memories..
bt wat if certain couple hv such bad memories 2geta..
once a third parties exist..
all responsibility, feeling, all jus fly away..
and hatred, annoy, will jus pop up slowly..

i..in relation with 7 diff guys b4..
im not mature i und..n i blif no 1 will settle love stuff in mature ways..
if yes..my parents won divorce without thinking their own daughter future..
if yes.. thr is no news bout parents left their own kids 2 ophanage jus bcos they 1 freedom..
whn..i oly can unlock my lock with a suitable key?
blur..
in a very childish thinking..i don care who HE be with now..jus don break with me enuf..
bt i forced myself..i hv 2 4get tht month and stop thinkin bout him..

moment now..i think single is the best..
u can jus flirt with any1 u lk in club..
u can jus go out with any guys u lk..
u can jus do anything u lk..
no rules..no responsible..no nothing..
oly u will be lonely smt..

人是犯贱的..
whn u hate her..u love other..
whn u finally lost her..u hurt other..
whn u hv tis..u 1 tht..
whn u hv tht..u miss tis..
y? y? y?
haix..
complicated..

signing off..
下雨天

Finally..

After 1 week and 3 days of hardwork..i n alex..finally finish our product..frm drawing the pic, making the model with cards..beat the gingerbread n sugarpaste dough..thn bake n build it..
haha..FINALLY!!



5inches Gucci high heels finally finish!! i n alex use bout 1 week ler..damn hard..
is made from sugarpaste..is a mixture icing sugar,egg white and vinegar..is easily broke.. luckily v still manage to finish it..thou is not lk real one b a least it look lk a shoe.. lolx..haha..n we spent 2o++ for tht turning plate device ler..jus 2 display it..haha..


this is my favourite..our japanese traditional house..all frm ginger bread ler..damn tire bake those cookies in size..n easily broke too..wei..is not easy 2 build tis house o..v use bout 1 week too..hope can gt higher mark 4 tht..
we spent more thn 50 bucks for this 2 project ler..haix..pokai d lo..
下雨天

once a while..i miss him very much.. 下雨天 keep on raining..

ppl around me..

Alex hv been in bad days..
pity him lar..alwis emo go sch..
all laughter also fake de lar..
i knw i cant help anything tht y i won ask..
beta don let him think bac his previous stuff.
hopefully everything will go well soon..
alex..don let emotion take over u..overcome it o..

few more days..my ipoh fren say wana come kl o..
dunno thy can make it ornot..
if can thn good lar..
long time didn hang out 2geta d..
n neva at kl..
hope thy don miss tis chance lar..
haha..

thn on 11 july..
clubbing lu..
wa..at home nearly fully cover by spider web d le lar..
boring till i catch sheng sheng (my roomate) go make up n hair stand lk punk..
wakakaka..look so diff..
hehe..

thn..i n someone..
haha..dunno how ler..
feel lk goin tis track..dunno is true ornot..
dunno..will end soon ornot..
even dunno can start ornot..
liltle bit confusing lo..
haix..

me ar..tht day go time square gai gai..
gonna pokai d le lar..
buy pants..shirt..cap..wat also buy..
haha..
alwis givw myself reason.."ah ya..long time no gai gai le ma.."
now..wallet kosong d lo..haix haix..

k lar k lar..
signin off..
下雨天

can i live a better life?

May i ask the God?
can i hv a better life..
i jus wana stop loving n stop missing someone tht i don hv chance with him anymo..
i understand tht tis world have alot more guys lk him..
cos he is not tht perfect too ma..
i knw i shouldn't do anything stupid bcos of him..
n my frens all alry tire of advising me d..
bt y i cant fully control my emotions..
human are easy 2 change..bt y i am not easy 2 change tis time..
alry 3 months d le lo..seem lk yest only happen..
smt i really wish got some1 hugs n kiss me replace the missing feeling towards him..
seriously..i still cant swift him out of my heart..
haix..

faster reach july 11 lar..
long time din go clubbing d lo..
my best fren..janice bday n go out celebrate..
hope some of my fren at baking sch will follow..sure will be fun n 4get those stupid images in my mind 4 a moment..
n hv more fun over thr..
hopefully meet some groups of new frens thr..

human mind r so complicated..
human thinkin r so selfish n not mature..
human r so 犯贱..
tht call human..

hahahax...

signing off...nitenite..
muaxies..
(suppose 2 be moody de..bt my fren ar beside me keep read out my blogs in so many funny ways make me laugh non stop..tht sheng lar..haha)

haha..curi curi smoking o...haha.. paiseh paiseh..

confusing..

i miss someone tht i shouldn miss..
suppose 2 let go alry de..
y jus cant..
v jus met..y jus cant..
haix..
gambateh..i will de..
paiseh paiseh..sendiri advise sendiri..
keke^^

Good Result

is 18 june..zi lin frm baking, thn alvin xiong xiong frm baking too.. our big chef Andy frm culinary and me!! Culinary arts + baking in team!! tht 1 is our product, Golden Pastry Pasta..
V got 1st and will get cert soon for tht.. Liz our principle said tht our product hv six star presentation..happy happy..Good job!!

Me and Mei Hui taken b4 go movie on Wednesday..Love cha!

Take a closer look at our product.. pasta in the pastry puff basket.. and the most special is the fried spaghetti behind it as decoration.. All by our own frm me n my group + andy..

Vanilla sponge with coffee butter cream cake..

i made it my own..haha..cool man..

Good memory r coming..check out rapidly oo..

He is not perfect!!

can i continue telling myself he is not perfect anymo..
he is not cute enuf..
he is not tall enuf..
he is not rich enuf..
he is not mature enuf..
he is not good enuf..
he is not superhero enuf..

he do stupid things..
he neva think of gals feeling..
he used my $..
he neva buy me a gift..
he didn appreaciate me..
he is a jerk tht playing me!!

important is..
he is not loyal enuf..

i.......going 2 close ya chapter and move on..

I start 2 miss..

is tis a good start tht i finally started 2 miss somebody else..
smt i will rmmbr C de..he stil the 1 tht give such happy days 2geta..
bt i hv told C n myself tht v will maintain a good relation as fren in future..
cos he also gt gf d ma..
nw i just 1 a very blissful n long couple relationship..
dunno whn oly will happen ler..
n dunno who ia the guy ler..
sudden miss family de feeling tim..
miss my mom very much..if she still here i think i will love my mom deeply nw..
cos alry grown up n understand situation..

i 1 some1 tht love me treat me good..
i 1 the days 1 family go out shop shop..
miss tht..
miss everything happy in my life!!

take care..
over thr 3 months is not short n not long..
wish u all the best..
must happy o..
i gonna miss u much..
hope everything fine 2 u..
good luck and i alwis said......Gambateh!!!
muaxies!!

sorry being so childish..

ppl smoke whn thy r stress..
thou i hate bt i finally learned..
gt alot of trouble around me..
D couple alry..he is so blissful again..
i love 2 see him happy..i knw i hurt him much..he is oly 18++ and he can think very mature..
ppl say gal r usually more mature thn guys..but he is not..
im the childish 1..

C and his beloved gal gal must be happy too..
F told me b4, the most powerful love is "greeting ya love 1 blissful with other"
i will keep remind myself..
i jus 1 whn 1 day i saw C..v can be real real real close..lk playful brother n sister..
im not meant 2 be his sister lar..i don 1 2 fight with M o..
haha..
jus close fren..at least i knw he love me b4 n nt playing my feeling..
i really will appreciate tht month.. is really a wonderful memories 2 me..
thou the returning is alot of monts of sadness..
tht is bcoz i still haven let go it..
im older than u..i will think mature..
beta take care yaself at kem..drink more water and don gt noti..
ltr kena punish..if can stop smoking..nt good ler..
and must must must keep loving her..
don lk lastim hurt her d..at least pity her..
if yes, u won gt her bac d de lar..
i knw at kem 99% guys also will ai mei ai mei lk tht de..
NO CHANCE!! think tht u still hv her..don make stupid choice..

F din find me lu..y ler?
haix..i ask back..bt he don1..
i think he sick of break up d..
haix..sorry..
i make stupid mistake as C make..
my life hv so many diff guys..
hope he can soon success in his career nw..
study hard n gambateh..

Should i give u a chance S?
i been thinkin 4 long time..
im not don lk u..it jus i still hv C in my mind..
i really wanted 2 hv new life with u..jus no confidence weather i can do it or not..
n u sem lk wanted 2 let go d..
i also not dare 2 ask..
haix..

wat should i do..
answer nw..

i think i will consider lesbian 1 day if i turn real crazy...
hahahaha..

Beer doesn't help anymo

Yesterday i drink alot..
but i stil manage to think alot of unhappiness..
i see alot of couple around me and feel real lonely tht time..
keep searchin ppl 2 chat with me but all of them seem lk don hv the heart 2 sms me d..
feel so useless..cant manage 2 keep ppl i lk as fren..
all of them r jus running away frm me..
am i really tht trouble to u guys?
i wish i jus can vanish frm here..
thn u guys and i will end and neva think nymo..
kl trouble..ipoh trouble..whr should i belong to?
whr?
haix..me so trouble..
stif said i hv 2 go on lk tis 4 long time..haix..how 2 go? real hard..

He is a good supporter..

he give me alot of support..
thx 2 him..i still will think bout my past de..
bt i will also keep remind myself..bout wat he said 2 me tht nite..
he said..no matter how awful i look lk nw..no matter how i hurt myself..
he won knw..
he will jus happy over thr..
he alry choosen her..he alry make his choice..so is not worth 4 me 2 do smt lk tht..
n ar..he say my mom take k me till 19 years..is not logic lor if i care bf more thn my mom..
so i will think bout tht..
i wan faster faster 4gt him..
i knw he will be happy..
im glad too..bt smt i feel sad too..
sorry 2 all my frens..i created some 'lines' at my waist thr again..
thx 4 u guys support..
love u guys..i will make myself happy n happy more..
muaxies!!

hurt feeling just won stop..

i saw tht pic o..
he live happily lo..he with her d..
i tot i hv let go him..
bt i write tis post with eyes full of tears..
i hope i neva knw him!!
i 1 him bac..bt he choosen her bac d..
y i make such a choice..
i hate myself!!!

He is making me feel the way he felt..

he is making me feel so cant concentrate in life..
is it bcos i really let go someone tht real important alry n now thr is no turning back?
i suppose to hv alot of bad side bout him few months ago...
he is not good enuf..
left gf alone at ipoh n go jb..
smt din mention whr he go n make me feel damn scare n hv 2 call her mom or sis 2 confirm tht he is fine.
bt y nw seem lk all tis is not important alry..
am i really regret n nw i started 2 miss my life with it?
or itz bcos nw he is treating other gal good n im selfish wish 2 gt him back?
haix..
i very fan ar..
jus hope all tis will fast fast past..
i feel so sorry and finally i und ya feeling nw..
is all my punishment i wil get 4 letting go u..
ashame..
bt is fate tht i knw C..n i feel real happy with him..too bad is fate again..
i cant hold tight both D n C..
i think i goin 2 wait 4 the new 1..
no more turning back..
wish D happy ever after with ppl he love n wanted 2 hold tight..
i think "hold u tight " mean he alry wanted 2 permenantly have her in life..

i........hv 2 go through myself..

scare alry lor...

everytime whn a started 2 gt close 2 a group of frens..
smt will ruin it..
haix..
i jus join thm tis week playing crazy stuff..
bt 2day two of thm seem lk playing some love games..
slp, eat and play 2 geta..
ignoring other..
y hv 2 be lk tht..the guy also gt gf d lo..
jus cm here study oly ma..
nw i seem lk bein dump 2 aside d..
haix..
she say it rite..
thr is no pure friendship between a gal n a boy..
vry haix ar..

1st june life!!

Renee.. Alvin xiong xiong.. miss mei hui banana.. little hui yin and niang niang ah seng..

haha

2day very boring ma..

go yum cha..thn suddenly wana play o..ma do stupid things lo..

now only scare neighbour complain oly..

hahaha..wakakakaka..

if "he" is here too also very fun ar..too bad no o..

haix..

nvm lar..

my life got up n down..

im not gonna disturb nymo..gua..

Happy Birthday!!

2day is Miko and D 1 dance studio BDAY!!
happy happy 4 them..
hope ho..
D 1 le..get more beta n beta..
all dancer are in great condition and win more prizes..
hope Miko happy alwis lar..
don so so stress d lar thn sick again..
haha..
take k oh..

i wan a new life!!

i wan 4get 'D'..
i wan 4get 'C'..
and start a new life with some1 new..
with new frens and life..
concentrate at my bakery..
concentrate at my supportive frens..
4get sadness and regain happiness..
i hope u guys support me too..
if yes u r..
send me a sms and be my bestie again..
love u guys..
muaxie..

he is cool..
he is awesome..
he is sporty..
he is smart..
but he love a stupid gal..
he walks to her home below hot sun..
he teach her to a new life..
he bring her out of the cage..
he teach her to club and dress..
he teach her golf..
he bring her to holiday..
he buy her nice gift..
but she have let go him..
and now..
he is telling her tht he goin tackle a new gal..
she deserve it..

the God punished her d..

Haix.
2day kena scold leh..
cos yesterday i go slp at other hostel at puchong..
thn v partying till mid9..bt neighbour called our sch principle..
and wana report to the police!!
so..2day all of us got to write apologize letter for the neighbourhood..
jus party oly ma..
haix..

Yesterday..
i meet some new frens..
thy vry cool..vry nice..
i sudden think 'D"..
so..i msg tis guy tell him tht i hope he can join tis group with me..
'D" and i hv a great memories for 2 years b4 we end up as frens now..
i told 'D" wat my thinking bout tis new frens..
bt i think tht doesnt mind to him anymo..
he said he got a plan to paris soon with his new frens over thr...
suddenly..
i think i lost 'D" alry..
i lost someone good and nice ...since feb..

Today..i remember alot bout him..
He is someone that i really wanted to be together again..
but..no more forcing just want him to be relax and happy again..
my sad feeling very strong oh today.. coz i keep thinking tht he need to go NS soon..
i cant contact him through phone or either on9..
thou..he did smt tht make me do alot alot of stupid things..
i jus dunno y..i jus cant let go..
time will past..and soon i wil have a beta life..
just dunno whn..

just one word..i 'can' let go everything for him..

i jus end up a relation with a guy on sunday..
he is the one tht giving me alot of good advise whn i break up with the guy i mention above..
mayb tht the reason i feel like i fall for him..
time past 3 weeks..
i figure out..i think i stil haven ready for this..
so..he said "mayb, v beta be fren again.."
i neva cry.. bt i feel beta cos i don hv to lie to myself anymo tht i haven let go the previous one..
just 2 days..
the person tht give me good advise changed..i think he neva remember me anymo..
is correct..im the one who make all tis trouble..
sorry 'K"..i didn mean it..

thx for ya support..

the guy i wanted to love neva love me anymo..
the guy tht loving me and i cant love him anymo..